Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Burke




Four years ago today, Burke slipped into this world, but unexpectedly, had already slipped out again. We didn't know this at first. It took several days of seeing him in the NICU unit, attached to tubes and sensors (along with a battery of tests) to determine that he was gone. Unresponsive. Brain Dead.

The emotional din and crash today could only be managed by putting two pieces of fabric together and applying my foot to the sewing machine pedal.

I had Finding Nemo stuck in my head: just keep sewing, just keep sewing, just keep sewing...

I pulled out unfinished quilts today, thinking about the upcoming International Quilt Festival here in town this weekend and have decided to use this time to get a couple of these projects closer to completion. Grief, though not a good motivator for things like laundry or dusting, stirs in me the old need to DO, to CREATE, to try and make something you can touch, something useful to provide some comfort.

More soon, with photos...

4 comments:

Heather said...

I've been thinking about you all day, G. Burke was such a beautiful boy, and my heart truly aches for you and your family. No parents should have to go through what you and your husband have gone through. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Sarah said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult these anniveraries must be. I will keep you in my thoughts this week.

Polymer said...

much love to you and your family Gillian.

Carolynn Markey said...

I stumbled across your blog from ravelry. I'm knitting your kiss hat pattern as we speak for my older sister who is expecting a little girl in January!

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost two babies myself to miscarriage. I know its not the same, because I was only in the first trimester, hadn't even seen them yet, but I do understand a bit. Hugs, and hugs, and know that your little one is in the arms of Jesus.