Holiday Photoshoot outtakes

After having to cancel holiday pics because of illness and a perpetual crusty nose, we decided to hold our own little photo shoot.

Trying to get a good shot of a baby is like trying your hand at herding kittens.

Hee-yaw little dawgies!

To B: X-mas gift

Thanks for supporting my one woman sweatshop, dear. But this item expresses what I really want for Christmas:

LINK!

Love you,
G

Worst head cold EVER.

Last week was the week of germy horrors. Even as his head leaked snot, his puffy eyes watered like crazy, his belly heaved up phlegm and goo, he still tried to find some goodness to smile about.

I had to take photos of him in all his miserable glory.

I know what I am getting G for X-mas!!!

New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go

6 months

Dear Bennett,
You are six whole months old today! You are growing like mad and no longer fit into anything but your 12-month clothes. Poppy has taken to calling you his "Spi-see Meet-a-ball!!!" in a horrible Chef Boy Ar-Dee accent. It's true, though. You are growing to be a righteous little pudge. You are sitting up all on your own, rolling over with limited success, and getting ready for big movement (crawling!) at any moment. And you are so tall!!! Where did you get this from? Not us.Although you still enjoy playing "little baby" and getting wrapped up like a burrito, which is nice. We can still pretend that you're our little baby. Until our arms get tired.

You've had lots of visitors this month from Oma Joyce and RR at the beginning of the month to Grandma and Grandpa K, Aunt A, and Uncle S over the Thanksgiving weekend. Even Opa S and J came down for dinner.

You've been struggling with the discomforts of your first tooth and it finally broke through the gum. It's sharp like a dull piece of glass--the first time I felt it I was really surprised. No wonder you weren't sleeping well and were so cranky! It couldn't have been very comfortable coming through the skin in your mouth.

And how did we celebrate? By offering you your first solids on Thanksgiving! The verdict? Rice cereal is pretty tasty. You've had it every day since and show no signs of wanting to go back. Next on the roster is a bit of banana and I'm sure it will be met with the same enthusiasm. Well, it's a little late right now, so I'll sign off for today... where is this time going?

Right now all you know is it's bedtime and time to nurse and snuggle and drift off to sleep while dreaming of all the big things yet to come.

I love you so much!

Yours,
Mamma.

Tooth!

We're happy to report that Bennett is now the proud owner of his first tooth. May the hardcore gnawing commence!

Baby Training

Just put your hand out and I'll do all the work !! If you get a chance I am also out of food and my litterbox could use some attention.

papoose

Holidaze

Well, I can't believe I'm fixated on the upcoming festivities already. I've been a sewing fool lately, and the only thing that would make me happier is more. More time, more fabric, more, more, more.
I have new favorite bibs and shoes every couple of days. Here's the most recent favorites:
I'm so sad to see these leave. I love them so...
Hopefully I'll find a bit of time to make a few new pairs for Bennett. He's growing out of the ones I have made him.

So, hopefully the near future will include more of Bennett... for now, adieu

More love!

LINK to writeup on my little shoes...

more excitement and joy!

Why didn't we think of this before?

The best pre-election discovery? The do-not-disturb button on our phone. Robo-dialers can now dial to their hearts content.

5 months

Dear Bennett,

You are five whole months old today and weigh more than 20 pounds. Yes! It's true! You are in the 99th percentile for height as well! Who knew you'd only fit into six month clothes for a couple of weeks? You are growing so fast.

You are getting a lot more coordinated every day and it is really exciting! You sometimes wake up in the middle of the night eager to practice all your developing skills, like sitting up, finding your thumbs and feet... every day you are getting more proficient in these gross motor skills!

Halloween was a good time for you. We sat out on the front porch and you got to watch all the kids come up the walk in their costumes to trick or treat. It seemed like you didn't know what to make of some of the outfits, but still found them all fascinating. Your bedtime keeps creeping up earlier and earlier as the sun goes down sooner and sooner. Good naps are still a rarity, but I'm sure things will even out eventually.

We have gotten more belly laughs from you this past month. Especially when Poppy plays with you, leaning in close and blowing raspberries on your belly.

We bought you a little excersaucer and you LOVE it to pieces. It bounces a little and you press up with your little chubby turkey legs and then let go again and again and again, shrieking with glee! Your favorite toy was the spinning monkey at first, but now it's the soft elephant and letter E you can grab and chew on.The weather has been getting colder over the past couple of weeks. This week looks like it will be an Indian Summer so we will get a little more wear out of your short-sleeve outfits, then it's on to the great sweaters you've received and long pants. We bought you a heavy winter coat today, so let's hope it still fits you in January!

Here's to another big month of changes and growth! I'm sure I'll add more later, but I'll end this for now just in case you wake up.

I love you more every day!!!

Yours,
Mamma

Etsy frontpage!

One of my items made the front page on Etsy!!!

LINK

Woo-hoo!!!!!!

Halloween

Well, we didn't record how many of what costumes we had this year. We were too preoccupied by one SUPERCUTE monkey. In a monkey suit. With banana!






Thumbsucker. Sigh... Thank goodness his costume had removable "mittens."



Ummm, there were lots of Disney characters, a fistful of pirates, a couple of superheroes (spiderman, batman, hulk) and one really cool ironman... no clowns.

Happy Halloween!

Spongebob

Who knew that ten minutes of Spongebob would allow me the distraction I needed to trim nails? I managed to get 7 fingers and 2 toes trimmed before the plot was discovered.

Then the don't-won't-wanna-wiggle party began.

New Teether

...and he's pushing up (and almost off!) to reach for things he wants!

Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I look back at where I was last year about this time and the same ache and sense of loss is still as bright and sharp as it was. And the same drive to create. It seems I turn more towards crafting stuff the more I get flummoxed by this peculiar state of being two mothers. One that joyfully welcomes each day I get to share with Bennett, the other that rages and screams at the loss of my first son.

Returning to work was easy. I returned to something familiar. The same routines, the same folks, the same brands of issues. It's this motherhood job that's got me.



Our little family gathered together at 7pm tonight and lit candles, one for Burke, one for another lostbabymama whose pain and agony is fresh and raw. I've been angry these last few days. As much as I tell myself how pointless it is, this seething horror keeps bubbling to the surface.

We were with Burke at the end. They had taken all the tubes and wires out, turned off all the machines, and the three of us laid in the twin hospital bed in our little room with the blanket taped over the little window. For privacy. We held him, talked to him, loved him... my milk had come in and I remember my breasts aching and burning. Milk that wouldn't nourish it's intended.

How can I carry these memories side by side with the ones of Bennett's greedy 4am nuzzles? How can the memories of Burke live right next to the ones of Bennett's fierce vibrancy? How do other lostbabymamas do it? I don't talk of Burke much anymore, and I'm realizing that it's more out of social expectation than healing. I think people expect me to have moved on after Bennett, so I just don't mention Burke as often. Yet for me Burke's memory is as alive as it was the moment he was born, that five minutes before I knew something was horribly wrong.

So here I am, ready to pounce on new fabric, ideas spinning wildly in my head for new bibs, new shoes... outfits for Bennett. All the while I whisper to Burke.


So happy (or not) Remembrance Day. And to all the lostbabymamas I'm thinking about (you know who you are): congratulations on making it through each day.

growing!

Bennett had his four month check up today... 19.9 lbs, over 3 inches of growth in length, and another inch 'round the nugget. This makes him in the 95th percentile for weight and nugget-size, 99th for height!!!

Feet

I can't believe this kiddo is attempting to sit up on his own!

He wobbles and topples, but is ready to try again. And again. And again.

He has also discovered he has two feet. And they are mysteriously attached to him.
This must be investigated thoroughly.

PS: Thanks Katie and Aunt Mary for the spooky gear!

Once more with feeling

...you get to see Bennett choke on spit.

Miles

A couple of weeks ago, our older dog Miles came in with a limp after running around outside with Penny. We put him on bedrest (no stairs) and waited a couple of days to see if it was just a strain, etc. After all, at 12 years old, he's not a spring chicken, though this fact never seemed to phase him. He still played like a 6 year old. When it didn't get better over the course of a couple of days B took him in to see the vet. The vet on duty (not our regular doc) took an x-ray, didn't see any damage like a break or tear in the cartilage, and sent Miles back home with some remadil and instructions for further rest. Last week B took him back. He was still favoring the leg, and instead of getting better he was not putting any weight on it at all. We saw our regular vet who did a couple new x-rays further up into his shoulder. He found cancer in the bones of his shoulder and confirmed Miles was in a lot of pain.

We got a second opinion last week with the same conclusion: at best, with aggressive treatment (including amputating the leg and radiation therapy) we were only looking at a few good months.

We made the decision to put Miles down. Saturday night he had cheeseburgers for dinner and lots of snuggles. Yesterday morning after I put Bennett down for his morning nap we helped Miles into the car and I took him to our vet. I stayed with him until the end. As I drove home I thought about the day we adopted Miles, and all the good times we shared. We had six good years with him.

Thank you for being a part of our family. We love you. We miss you.

4 months

Dear Bennett,

You are four months old today. It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm finally able to sneak away and write. Oh, and throw your diapers in the dryer. Since I started back to work you've been capitalizing on the Mamma-time at night to make up for not spending our days together. That's fine with me because I miss you all day, too. Getting started with the sitter was pretty rough, mostly because you want nothing to do with a bottle. And there was that jealous 18-month old that bit you on the nose. Not a good start.

We have figured that you are just no fan of plastic in your mouth, and I can't say I blame you. You don't even like rubber teethers. Luckily Poppy and you are figuring out about cup feeding, so we are just moving on from there. It's messy, but at least you are eating for your sitter and Poppy when I'm not around.

You are still learning about those hands of yours, and are now sucking on your fingers whenever you get the chance. And chewing on other people's fingers when they get close enough. I can see a little white sliver of tooth under the skin, so I know you'll be cutting it in the next couple of weeks.
You have started laughing this past month too. Mostly at us and our imbacilic provokings. You have also discovered that your voice has pitch, so your sounds, your ghh-yays, and nhoooms, now peak at deafeningly girlish squeals.You still seem like a pretty serious kid, hyper alert and "drinking" in everything you see and hear all day long, but there's an element of you that seems to be relaxing and enjoying things. You are happy to just hang out and play when we are out and about. Halloween is coming up and we're getting pretty excited by the prospects of dressing you up and showing you off on our front porch this year. I haven't measured you in a long time, but looking at how much bigger you are than your monkey (you now only fit in 6-9 or even 12 month clothes!!!) I know you'll be needing a bigger costume than I would have ever imagined.

As we approach the holiday season I can't help but think about your brother, especially when it's all quiet in the house and I have a few moments to myself. It's as if there's a ghost that I catch out of the corner of my eye, but in my mind. I ache thinking that you will never know him. It's still difficult to know how to respond to folks when we are out together and they ask if you are my first. I want to tell them about Burke, about the weight of loss I carry with me, to share my story and his. Sometimes it hurts so much knowing he is gone from our family. Instead, when people ask me that seemingly innocuous question (not knowing that for some lostbabymamas the question is like lava to our ears) I just answer "yes," and move on. A little denial that hurts, yet protects. The rest of the day is filled with a silent "I'msorry,I'msorry,I'msorry..." in my heart. I can't deny them from admiring you, though. You are one cute little guy. I just remember to NEVER ask a mamma that question.

Well, it's just after 3am, so I should get myself to bed. You'll be up sooner than I think, ready to look and learn and laugh your way through another day...

I love you "this" much, Bennett.

Yours,

Mamma.

Hard Times

Yep, it's been a little while since we've posted, and not really for good things. Old man Miles has been off his game, and our vet has discovered cancer in his bones. Poor old man. He's on some heavy duty painkillers to keep him comfortable, but there's not much we can do for him.

Our computer also crapped out as well, and I'm officially back at my day job (and Bennett refuses to take a bottle, holding out 6-8 hours until he sees me), so time to post has pretty much been lost, along with the means.

Things are looking a little brighter, though. Bennett has decided that he's just going to skip a bottle all together and go directly for a cup. Much to the relief of all of us!

B also managed to salvage the music etc that was on the old hard drive and built us a new computer. Silver linings...

Oh, and Park+Vine is now carrying my shoes! They have two exclusive patterns you won't see anywhere else! Including an organic bamboo one!

More soon...

After the storm

Little did we know that we'd be struck in Ohio by hurricane Ike Sunday afternoon. We were one of the lucky few that only lost power for a few hours. We still have neighbors who have none! Cable service was just returned yesterday; huzzah for the Internets!!!

Photos of the damage:
We almost lost the Subaru; our neighbor's tree fell, clipping the white garage (not ours) and blocking off the whole alley. It clipped the back bumper and scratched the back fender a bit; nothing substantial.

The winds were strong enough to split our neighbor's tree. They have it held together with straps until the tree crews get a moment to take it down. If it would have fallen it would have taken two sets of power lines with it.
This house just down the road may be condemned. I think they're waiting to see how extensive the damage is once the tree is removed. It crushed most of the roof in the front of the house!

We had winds up to 75 mph. I noticed bricks in one person's yard; I guess they lost their chimney. The local Chinese restaurant needs some re shingling.

All told there are over 600,000 people that lost power on Sunday, not including northern Kentucky or Dayton. They are still estimating around 100,000 people without power tonight. The grocery stores have little, since they lost all their frozen foods, and gas is still a bit of a problem since the pumps don't operate without electricity. Hopefully by the weekend things will be back to normal around here...

Good times

Reading

It's not as cool as his bouncy seat or his hands, but it's still kinda neat...

Now on video

...you get to hear him choke on his spit.




And this is the best take out of five.

New and improved!

Thanks to B and the homemade light tent he built for me, the photos of the items for sale in my Etsy store are looking a lot more "perfessinal."





There's still room for improvement, but at least my stuff looks a lot better than it did!